Joy and Balance

Risking Our Hearts for Change

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

It seems that we have all come to the conclusion that the world is in chaos and there is little that can be done.  I often find myself in conversations with friends where I try to point all the amazing work that is being done around the world, the changes of hearts and minds that are happening around every corner.  But risking hope feels like too much to ask.  Instead we can tear down possibility, wait for other people to create change and at least maintain our small view of the world when the actions of others fail.

But great men and women, instigators of change across the globe, have always known that, as Ghandi said, "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."  If we want peace, we must first bring peace to our minds and our hearts.  We must carry that peace into all of our actions.  And we must be willing to share in the risk of change with our brothers and sisters who are working for a better world.

Happy Holidays? A Buddhist Approach to Dealing with Difficult People During the Holidays (Especially Your Family)

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

   This guy could be waiting for you at your office Christmas party.  He might be just waiting to tell you how Barack Obama will ruin the country or how Communists are taking over.  Maybe he's even your Uncle Phil and you will have to sit across from him as you eat your holiday meal.   Face it!  No matter who we are we just can't escape dealing with difficult people during the holidays (or most days for that matter) but we can choose a different way of dealing with them that will give us more peace.  Here are my top five tips for dealing with "difficult" people during the holidays.

Making the Holidays Meaningful: Honoring the True Spirit of Giving

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

    Christmas is supposed to look something like this.  There should be presents stacked to the ceilings and garland a plenty.   But is mass consumption really what the spirit of giving is all about?  Surely, the holiday giving spirit is, at its root, about really seeing the other person and giving a gift that matches them.   In the end it's all about connection.  So why not make your commitment this holiday season really be in the spirit of giving?  As one of my clients declared boldly this week, "this year, I commit to making the holidays a time of deep connection with friends and family!"  Here are a few ways that you might consider doing this.

1. Volunteer your time.   You don't need money to serve food to hungry people during the holidays.  You just need a willingness to share you time and your energy.   Look people in the eye, offer them the gift of your service and affirm their dignity as someone worthy of being seeing and served.   You can find lots of opportunities to do this kind of volunteer work through local religious organizations, by calling your local shelters or checking out craigslist where opportunities to volunteer are frequently posted. 

A Moment of Compassion Can Change the World

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

Dr. Daniel Goleman, who has for years studied the "emotional intelligence" of people around the world, believes that empathy is at the core of humanity.  It is our capacity to reach out to another, to literally walk in their shoes, that is a cornerstone to our journey together.   In this talk, sponsored by TED, he discusses his reasons for optimism and his sense of possibility in a world where compassion can be contageous, if one person is willing to stop and connect.