Joy and Balance

Does Your Family Bring Out in the Worst in You? Would You Like to Be More Resourceful?

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

Clients tell me all the time that that their families drive them crazy!  They go home for the holidays or even talk to their mother on the phone and it's like they are ten again.   Do you ever have this feeling?  If you do, the short audio exercise that I've created will help to create new possibilities while you simply sit back and relax.   You can download it below.  Please feel free to share this with friends and colleagues that you might like to help be more resourceful in their lives now. 

Download G-Force Swish
(Mac users press Command when you click link)

Scott Mills, Ph.D., is an expert in human change, development and achievement coaching individuals and organizations in the U.S. and Canada. His book, Awake Parenting: Parenting with Purpose, Presence and Power has been receiving rave reviews from parents across the country. He is currently working on a new book called Waking the Heart. He brings a diverse background from the world of art, theater, spirituality and psychology to his work to his workshops as well as his individual clients. To find out more about him check out www.joyandbalance.com

Read the Introduction to our book, Awake Parenting, for free

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

This morning in my email I received a review of our book, Awake Parenting: Parenting with Purpose, Presence and Power, from a mother of three in Seattle.  She wrote,

        “This book is rich with inspiration, hope and practical tools for all parents who seek more loving  relationships no matter where they are on their journey with their children.   As a parent of a teenager in recovery from drug abuse and another child with attachment disorder it has not only provided me with a framework for personal discovery and renewal but offered a model for  deeper, more fulfilling relationships in general.  You do need to read it more than once!”

It's an amazing feeling to know that our work is having such an impact on parents around the country.  We invite you to check out the first chapter as a free, downloadable pdf.

Download Awake Parenting Intro

   You can buy a full copy of the book at http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/awake-parenting/7036292 whenever you are ready.  For now, feel free to enjoy our invitation to awake parenting.

Read Our New Book About Parenting!!!

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

Dr. Dan Kaufman and I have been have been hard at work writing a new kind of book for parents and people who have children in their lives.    We are excited to announce that it is now available to the world.   Awake Parenting draws on the wisdom that Dr. Kaufman and I have gleaned from working with many, many clients assisting them to build more joyful, balanced and awake lives.  It takes a gentle, spiritual approach to parenting full of easy, practical techniques that allow anyone who has children in their lives to laugh more freely, love more openly and see their children as well as themselves in a brighter light!

Parenting with Purpose: Setting Your Sails for Happiness

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

If you have ever walked into another room to get something and then completely forgotten what it was, you know what I mean when I say we have lost our purpose.   Many of us simply don’t know where we are heading and what our lives are about.   Figuring this out, especially when it can be done within the context of the family, can move us out of a fog and into the light. 

Purpose is the animating force of our life, like the breath or blood of the body.   When they are flowing well, we are filled with energy, vitality and health.  When they slow down or are stagnant we are in for trouble.  Every family, whether they name it or not, has a purpose.  Many families simply have survival as their purpose.  They have never thought beyond that possibility.  And unfortunately, when all you are aiming for is survival, that's all you're likely to get.

Happy Holidays? A Buddhist Approach to Dealing with Difficult People During the Holidays (Especially Your Family)

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

   This guy could be waiting for you at your office Christmas party.  He might be just waiting to tell you how Barack Obama will ruin the country or how Communists are taking over.  Maybe he's even your Uncle Phil and you will have to sit across from him as you eat your holiday meal.   Face it!  No matter who we are we just can't escape dealing with difficult people during the holidays (or most days for that matter) but we can choose a different way of dealing with them that will give us more peace.  Here are my top five tips for dealing with "difficult" people during the holidays.

Becoming the Parent You Would Like to Be: The Seven Habits of Awake Parenting

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

    Every where that family coach Dr. Dan Kaufman and I go, we hear worried parents.  They are worried about their kids not doing well in school, doing drugs, having sex, getting into trouble.  We work with all kinds of families to help them wake up, see the possibilities and live as the families they would truly like to be.   In the process, we've identified seven basic principles or guidelines for awake parenting that really make a difference!  

     While we've written a book, Awake Parenting: Living With Purpose, Presence and Power (available March 1st), to explain these in depth, we thought you might like a head start.  This work draws together our years of working with children and their families. 

Relish or Release It: 5 Tips for Doing a Family Purge

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

     These days it seems like many of us have more stuff than we know what to do with.  Piles upon piles of things fill our garage, our closets, our drawers and hide under our beds.  And all of this stuff takes time to maintain, organize, care for and clean.

      One of the easiest ways to create space and time in your life is to let go of some of your stuff.   Letting go can free up valuable time that you could spend doing really important things in your life like hanging out with your kids, reading bedtime stories, taking a nap, and all of the other things that there never seems to be enough time for.  And you also can teach your kids some really valuable lessons about what's really important in life. 

Cleaning Up Old Messes: Creating Time for Life

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

     How many times in your life have you heard your parents tell you to clean up your room?  How many times have you told your children the same thing?   It's not just messy rooms that can cause us to feel like there just isn't enough.   When we leave unfinished business in our past it can keep us from being fully present and hamper our ability to be with our family.   One of the most powerful things you can do to open your life is to complete or release unfinished business. Take just a minute and check in for yourself.  Are there projects that you have left unfinished for years that you keep planning to get around to, are there stacks of papers that you really would like to file or things that are out of control?

  One of the great time sappers for us can be unfinished projects or business.  They are like holes in a bucket and no matter how hard you try to fill the bucket, there is always a leak of your power or energy.  Finding ways to let these things go or get them done can plug the leaks and let you be more present to your life.

Practicing Gratitude: The Best Example Parents Can Ever Set

Scott Mills, Ph.D

“If the only prayer you say in your whole life is Thank You, that would suffice.” - Meister Eckhart

    It's Thanksgiving!  Are you?  Before you read anything further, take a moment and ask yourself a simple question.  On a scale of 1 to 10, how grateful are you for your life, just exactly as it is, right now?  How grateful are you for your family?  Be honest with yourself.

     The Western world enjoys more wealth than the world has ever known.  At every meal we eat better than most of the kings and queens from our history.   In our world of extreme plenty, there is an almost constant background track that tells us that we should want more.  Our lives are not okay.  You need to keep up with the Jones.  Our minds have fallen into deep ruts of comparison and want.   We look for what is wrong with us, what is missing in our lives, to figure out what we can buy or learn that will set us free.  And in the process, we often miss out on the incredible people who we call family.  Practicing gratitude, looking for what is really amazing about your children or your partner, is an incredible example to set for your children.

Leave Some Room on Your Plate: Saying Yes to What Really Matters

Scott Mills, Ph.D.

Lately I've been hearing a lot of people tell me that their plate is way too full.   This seems like an appropriate topic for the holidays since it's so easy to fill our plates and our lives with more activities than we can possibly handle.  It can be hard to say no.  Saying no to people can activate a whole host of negative self talk along with fears about whether people will like us, what will happen if we fail to meet their expectations, whether we should do what they’ve asked. 

     But here’s the kicker.  Most of the time you know, even before you say yes, the things that you should say no to.  Your intuition speaks loud and clear with a queasy feeling in your stomach or hesitation.  Learning to say no is one of the most liberating things that you can do for yourself.  It's also one of the most powerful things that you can model for your children.