Joy and Balance

Dealing with the Anxiety of Unemployment: Five Easy Strategies for Keeping It Under Control

    When we are out of work it's easy to get anxious.  We wonder when we will find a job, will we make enough money, will we be able to pay the bills?  While these may be questions worth asking, most often they lock us in a downward spiral that makes actually doing the work of finding a new job pretty difficult.   Before we know it we can become so stressed out that we are frozen in fear, completely incapacitated.   There are better ways to deal with this level of stress.  Here are five strategies that take less than ten minutes to learn and can make a profound impact on your life.

Moving Beyond Unemployment: Regaining Our Sense of Connection

    Let's face it.  Unemployment can really stink.  When we lose our jobs we can become fundamentally disconnected from everything that's important to us.   For many Americans, even when we are working we feel like we are just keeping our heads above water.  When the job goes so does our identity, self-esteem, community and sense of purpose.   As depressing as this all may be, there is a path out of despair and back into meaningful work.  And for many, this may be an excellent opportunity to really challenge what work is about in their lives and find a different path. 

    We all know that losing our jobs can be profoundly disconnecting.  We tell people who we are by what we do.   I'm a nurse or a lawyer, a copy editor or a dog catcher.  Our professions function as shorthand for who we are.   In addition, we spend more time with the people at work than we spend with our families.  When we lose our jobs we become disconnected from our support network not to mention the familiar environment of our office.  And the depression that can follow losing our job may even disconnect us from our bodies.  If you have ever spent days on end on the couch feeling like you just don't have the energy to move you know what I'm talking about.

Economic Disaster Predicted! Stop Listening to the Economists and Start Enjoying Life

In yet another report on the downward spiral of the economy, CNN reported Saturday that there will probably be more jobs lost as the economy gets worse in 2009.  Strangely, most economists didn't seem to be able to predict this recession when we were already a year into it.  They had no idea that almost overnight major companies like Lehman Brothers and AIG would risk going out of business.  So why do we think they have any better capacity to see the future now?  Why are we letting their negative picture of the world be the very air we breathe?  It's time for us all to turn off the TV, look away from the internet, put down the paper, and start living our lives again.

I am not suggesting that we pretend that we are not in the middle of a financial crisis.  We all know that times are very hard.  But in the midst of this crisis we are being offered a profound opportunity to reflect on what is really important to us.   And we have the opportunity to imagine and create a future that includes those things that we truly value.

In conversations with friends and colleagues, I keep hearing the same things lately.   All this consumerism that has been driving us is not what makes us happy.   All you have to do is turn on the radio and you'll know that we are a country obsessed with love (and umbrellas for some reason).  We value human relationships, caring, connecting and loving one another.   We value the families we are born into and those that we create for ourselves.  And we value this beautiful planet that we call home.

For individuals, research repeatedly tells us that the future that we imagine is the one that we are most likely to head towards.   In part, this is because we look for opportunities that will lead us there both consciously and subconsciously.  If we know we want to go to the park but aren't sure exactly how to get there, we can begin to ask people for directions, look for maps, do internet searches, wander in the right direction.   I am convinced that the same is true for us culturally.  Throughout American history, when we have set our collective hearts and minds on a goal, we have moved toward it.  So let's imagine a future for this country that is worth living.

For my part, I will stop listening to the economic projections that seem to be based more in fantasy than reality and begin to envision a country where everyone has work that they love, where everyone has love that fills them up, and everyone has a passion that sustains and drives them.  What's your vision for our country?  What will you imagine bringing into our world?  I would love to hear your ideas!

Scott Mills,Ph.D. is a life coach and consultant working to create passion, purpose and power in the lives of extraordinary people just like you. You can read more of his blogs or find out more about him at www.joyandbalance.com

The Recession is Here: Staying Open in the Midst of Chaos

    Finally the U.S. government has admitted that we are in a recession. This comes as no shock to those of us who have been feeling it for the last year.   Unemployment has reached a level that hasn't been seen since 1974.  Housing foreclosures are right around the corner for lots of folks.  And there are lots of reasons to be fearful.   In times like these, it's only natural that we start to shut down, protect ourselves and try to wait out the storm.  But what we really need to do is open our hearts and try our best to connect to those around us in times of chaos like this.

    In a recent article in the San Francisco Chronicle, Deepak Chopra explains that,

        "Fear deprives people of choice.  Fear shrinks the world into isolated,      defensive enclaves.  Fear spirals out of control.  Fear makes everyday life seem clouded with danger."

    While fear is a natural response to danger, particularly in a time where that danger is pervasive we need to bring our best ideas, plans and strategies for making sure that everyone survives the storm.  It is in times of crisis that humans are able to live our very best selves, to take a little bit less for ourselves so that someone else may have some, to get imaginative and find a way for everyone to find a place at the table. 

    Combatting fear can be tough thing to do.  As a starting point, try one of these four strategies for living more fully. 

1. Thank your intuition for the fear.  Acknowledging the alarm bells, rather than denying them or distracting yourself from them, allows you to make a choice about what to do next.  

2. Check into the present moment.  Our fears are often anticipatory.  They are rooted in things that might happen.  We might lose our jobs.  We might get sick.   Check in with what is going on right now.  If you are worried about losing your job, are you still working?   Do you have good health right now?  A place to live?  Food to eat?  If so, be grateful for what you have in this moment.

3. Imagine how you would like to be in your life.   If you are feeling fearful, give yourself a moment to imagine yourself feeling very confident, calm, loving and connected to those around you.  You are capable of handling whatever situations may arise.   Let yourself experience this as concretely as possible imagining the position of your body as you stand confidently, the warmth of the sun on your skin.  Lots of research has shown that visualizing like this makes it way easier to act in the ways you want to.

4. Connect, connect, connect.   In times of fear, we tend to disconnect from others, to collapse in ourselves, to try to do it all alone.   Unfortunately, not only do we do harm to ourselves by thinking we can weather the storm alone but also to our friends and family who are feeling fearful to and desperately need us to connect to them.   We are tribal creatures who are at our best (and sometimes our worst) when we are together.   Remembering this and allowing yourself to connect to others can at least make the storm a lot less lonely to weather. 

What are your strategies with dealing with fear in the midst of chaos?  If you were putting together a survival guide in times like ours what would you tell other people?  Share your thoughts!

Scott Mills,Ph.D.  is a life coach and consultant working to create passion, purpose and power in the lives of extraordinary people just like you.  You can read more of his blogs or find out more about him at www.joyandbalance.com.