Scott Mills, Ph.D.
The word vocation is most often used in religious circles. It expresses a sense of calling. This word has been greatly undervalued in our culture. As human, there is important work to do in our world. We know the perils of pollution, HIV/AIDS, global warming and poverty that face us. Fundamentally we want to be doing good work that opens us to ourselves and allows us to do something good in the world. But we rarely think of trash collector, accountants, plumbers, homemakers, and many others that you could imagine as called. Chances are you may not believe that there is anything special that you could be doing in the world. The time has come for us to all realize there is something important that we are called to do in the universe. And this does not necessarily mean leaving the path that you are currently on. Perhaps it is only to deepen the path and find a greater sense of meaning on it.
The novelist, Herman Hesse, wrote in Demian, "Each man has only one genuine vocation...His task was to discover his own destiny - not an arbitrary one - and live it wholly and resolutely within himself. Everything else was only a would-be existence, an attempt at evasion, a flight back to the ideals of the masses, conformity and fear of one's own wholeness." Theologian Fredrick Buechner defines our sense of call, or vocation, as the "place where our deepest gladness and the world's deepest hunger meet."
It is not surprising that we often choose not to take this journey. It is full of risk and challenge and our culture has trained us to value safety and comfort above all else. For some of us, however, the immortal words of Helen Keller ring in our ears. "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." We realize that life is a precious gift not to be wasted but rather to be danced through and loved.
Risk is not a fun word and following our hearts always involves some risk. But it is worth it. There are a number of risks that I have found in my studies of vocation that I will mention here.
First, we must risk seeing ourselves as we really are. This does not mean that we judge ourselves but rather we open ourselves up to a world of possibility beyond our imagining. We see ourselves for all of the capacity and potential that we harbor. This is a scary thought for many. If we are full of gifts and possibilities it might mean we have to do something about it. Marianne Williamson writes, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Second, following the calling of our heart often involves challenging our way of thinking about security and safety. For most of us this has something to do with money. We see it as a safety net that keeps us secure and if we give up money we become scared. There is nothing to be ashamed of in this. It is the truth for many and we have to decide if safety is really the value that we want to follow. And, we have the option to decide to open ourselves slowly to more risk. Finding your calling is a process rather than a destination.
Third, following our own path has the potential to threaten our old relationships and introduce us to new ones. This is true whenever people make a change in their lives. Our friends and relations wonder if the "new me" will like the "old them?" And sometimes our friends and family actually sabotage us so they don't have to take this risk. (Ever met an alcoholic in recovery? Ask them if their old bar buddies enjoy hanging out with them now?) So the journey to find your own path can be lonely and we may lose some of the old friends we had. Often in the process a whole new set of people arrive that fit with where we are. This process actually happens over and over throughout our lives. You can test this by asking yourself how many of your friends you still have from first grade? Or from high school? Or from previous jobs you worked? We often reform our social groups in our culture as we find different groups that fit who we are better.
It may be becoming clear to you that there is really very little opportunity without risk. So the fourth opportunity that we have on this path is to touch deeply into our own sense of pain and woundedness, our fears and desires. In the Star Wars trilogy young Luke's final challenge to prove that he is ready to face his destiny is to go into a cave, unarmed, and to face in his nakedness his own fears. He discovers that Darth Vader is his father and must struggle with this throughout the rest of the film. Episcopal Priest Elizabeth O'Connor writes, "At the center of our pain, we glimpse a fairer world and hear a call. When we are able to keep company with our own fears and sorrows, we are shown the way to go; our own parched lives are watered and our heart becomes a greener place."
The fifth opportunity/ risk in following our heart is that we realize this is an evolutionary path. The journey does not bring us to an ending but to new beginnings. It brings us to a place where we are able to be more open to what is happening around us and make decisions from the heart. In every decision that we make, in every moment of our lives, we are able to live out our sense of call. Victor Frankl makes a clear case for this. During World War II he spent years in a NAZI death camp separated from his wife and family. During his time there, he started to recognize that some men seemed to rise above the horrifying circumstances. Eventually he came to realize that the one's who survived were the men who could maintain a sense of meaning. It was then that he realized that they had been asking the wrong questions. He writes,
"What was needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, but instead to think of ourselves as being questioned by life - daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to is problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual."
One of the most important shifts that we can make as we work to be in greater community with ourselves, each other and the earth is to realize that we all have a deep sense of call in our lives. We are all to something greater; a tremendous adventure awaits us all!
For more information on Dr. Scott Mills, Ph.D. and his work as a professional life coach, consultant and workshop leader, please visit his website at www.JoyandBalance.com or you may email him at scott@JoyandBalance.com
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